The Blame Game
by Marvelgeek42
Summary: "I don't belong here! It's not my fault!" Lloyd yelled in protest yet again. "The Devil made me do it!" "I didn't do anything, my dear." A voice suddenly appeared behind him. Pre-series. Currently part 1 of "The Story of Samael"


**Can you believe that this is actually for school?**

 **Possibly the start of a Crossover series between Lucifer, Good Omens and Supernatural. Anyone interested?**

 **Word Count: 794**

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 _ **The Blame Game**_

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When Lloyd Ernest Johnson died, there was no real question where he would go; the fact that he thought otherwise did not matter at all.

Lloyd Johnson was a sinner and sinners went to Hell. How pointless would it be, if the system would only work when people acknowledged their sins?

Almost no one would go to Hell, because acknowledgment usually meant that there was some sort of remorse involved; those who showed honest remorse at the time of their death—not later—went to Purgatory.

Not that Purgatory as a giant forest full of monsters—and the Leviathans—was all that much better, but it was a step upwards—literally and figuratively—from eternal torture in Hell.

But Lloyd wasn't remorseful at all. He had raped several people—men and women—but in his twisted mind, they were the ones to blame. The girls had worn revealing clothes and were drunk, so they were asking for it. The men should have enjoyed it, because men can't get raped.

Those were the kind of delusions he hid behind and the consequence of his delusions was that he was one of the more stubborn ones. Most people acknowledged their faults within a couple of days—Hell time, of course. A couple of second Earth time meant the same number of decades down below and patience was not something commonly found in Hell.

Lloyd had been here for a couple of weeks now and somehow he was still in denial. He was yelling, screaming, and raving whenever he could—which admittedly was not much given the fact that he was _being tortured_.

But he managed to complain enough that Azazel requested the Big Boss come over to deal with the human himself. It just wasn't as much fun when they weren't acknowledging their faults, honestly.

"I don't belong here! It's not my fault!" Lloyd yelled in protest yet again. "The Devil made me do it!"

"I didn't do anything, my dear." A voice suddenly appeared behind him. "Why do you foolish humans always think that this is the case? I have better things to do with my time! It's bad enough that I am supposed to work towards the Apocalypse as well. How much time does everyone think I have?"

Lloyd turned around, but what he saw made him wish he hadn't. The...being who had spoken looked like it had been burned alive several times over. The eyes were burning red with the fire of Hell—of course Hell wasn't hot everywhere. Some parts had literally frozen over.

"You-you're Lucifer," Lloyd stuttered in realization. "T-the Devil."

The figure grinned, angling its—his?— head ever so slightly. "Exactly. So I should know that I had _nothing_ to do with your temptation. It's all on you."

Lucifer snipped his fingers and the human was free from his bonds.

"T-t-that is not what th-the Bible says," Lloyd argued. His voice was shaking horribly, despite his best efforts otherwise.

"What, you think that you know the truth better than _me_?" Lucifer snorted, as he grabbed Lloyd and pulled him away from Azazel's torture room. The human was replaced by another one—a murderer—instantly.

"Preposterous. Completely and absolutely ridiculous, that is. I'll have you know that the scribes my dear Father picked out were drunk and high. Every single one of them." The King of Hell laughed dryly. "The original version already got a lot of things wrong from my brother's words—for example, Gabriel was referring to the _good_ kind of stoned when he talked about divorce. I know my brother well enough for that."

Lloyd didn't really know what to do with this information. He had never been particularly religious—unless it suited him, of course.

"I am afraid that I will have to end our lovely chat here. Well, not really. But don't worry, I will leave you in capable hands!"

The two of them had reached another torture chamber. A dark skinned woman was waiting for Lloyd there. She looked well trained, curvy, and was similar to more than one of Lloyd's victims.

"Mazikeen!" Lucifer greeted her. "I brought you a present." He shoved the human in Mazikeen's direction. "That is Lloyd. I believe I told you about him?"

The demon scanned the quivering human as she casually sharpened her knife. "The rapist who enjoys playing the Blame Game?"

"Exactly! Lloyd, may I introduce Mazikeen, my most trusted torturer and the most loyal demon you can find. Only Alistair has a chance to compete in the former category and she is unparalleled in the latter. Have fun!"

"Oh, don't worry, Lucifer," Mazikeen said as she leaned towards Lloyd. "We will."

Lucifer turned around and moved towards the next damned soul that requested his personal attention.

"One of those days, I'm going to need a vacation," he absently muttered to himself.

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 **Please tell me what you think!**

 **~Marvelgeek42**


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